By Steve Fretzin & Tom Conner
Most lawyers never get a playbook for the business side of law. That is why conversations like this matter. Tom Conner spent 45 years building a trial practice in Houston, and he credits simple disciplines, consistent relationships, and a reputation-first mindset for creating a career that lasted. In this episode, we unpack the habits and approaches that helped him generate referrals, earn trust, and build a life that worked inside and outside the courtroom.
A Dull Pencil Beats a Sharp Mind Every Time
Tom opened with a quote an older lawyer once gave him, a dull pencil is better than the sharpest mind. The point is simple, memory is unreliable when you are juggling cases, deadlines, calls, clients, and life. Tom built his career on writing things down, not because he lacked intelligence, but because he respected how easy it is to forget what matters. That discipline showed up everywhere, including his approach to work. If there was a task he dreaded, he did it first. If there was a call he did not want to return, he made it early. Avoidance only drags stress into the entire day. Momentum comes from handling what you would rather dodge.
Stop Hiding Behind Email, Pick Up the Phone
Tom is not anti-technology, he is pro-clarity. His view is that lawyers overuse email to avoid real conversations. Ten back-and-forth emails can burn a half hour and still leave room for misunderstanding. A quick call often solves the issue, lowers friction, and preserves the relationship. The same principle applies to screening calls. Tom’s belief is direct, you are not helping yourself by ducking people. If you have to deal with it eventually, handle it respectfully and move forward.
Houston as a Trial Training Ground
Tom’s story started in a small farming community in West Texas, then took him through the University of Texas for undergrad and the University of Houston for law school. He spent his entire career in Houston, and he described it as a fast track trial environment, even compared to other major Texas markets. Early in his career he worked on a case that drew national attention, a sensational murder trial involving a wealthy defendant and a headline-making set of facts. That kind of public case can create a launching point, but what mattered more was how Tom carried himself after the spotlight moved on.
Bar Involvement as a Business Development Engine
Tom did not build his practice by waiting for luck. He joined bar committees early, showed up consistently, and formed friendships with lawyers in large firms who did not compete with him. That is the part most lawyers miss. The best referral partners are often other lawyers, especially lawyers who do not do what you do. Tom took people to lunch, hosted dinners with his wife, and invested in relationships long before he needed anything. He also supported bar leadership and judicial campaigns, not as a transactional move, but because he believed in contributing to the profession. The business followed because trust follows service.
Reputation Is the Asset, and It Is Easy to Lose
Tom shared a compliment another lawyer once gave him, if Tom Conner says a mouse can move a house, go put money on it. That is what lawyers forget when they get cute, play games, or act slippery. Your credibility is your currency. Tom avoided “gotcha” tactics, extended professional courtesies, and treated opposing counsel with respect. He believed what goes around comes around, and he saw it in real outcomes, including referrals from lawyers who had once been on the other side of the case.
How Small Firm Lawyers Get Referrals From Big Law
This was one of the strongest lessons. Tom built relationships with young lawyers in big firms through the Houston Young Lawyers Association and bar leadership circles. Those relationships turned into steady referrals because big firms routinely need trusted lawyers outside their niche. A divorce case, a niche dispute, a matter they cannot take, those cases go somewhere. If you are the person they like, respect, and trust, you get the call. Tom also gave a concrete example of how a single relationship expanded his career, a lawyer he knew later became general counsel for major hospitals and offered him work he had never done before. Relationships change roles. That is the point. The person you know today may control a pipeline tomorrow.
Business Development Is Not Limited to Legal Circles
Tom did not stop at bar events. He joined a breakfast club with business owners and became active in the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo, one of the largest events in the city. Those communities created visibility and trust far outside the legal bubble, and that trust turned into clients, introductions, and long-term relationships. His message was straightforward, you can sit at your desk and bill hours, or you can get out where the people are. If you want more control, you need more relationships.
Retirement Happens When the Fire Starts to Fade
Tom described deciding to retire at 68, giving himself a two-year runway, finishing matters responsibly, and stepping away on his terms at 70. He said something many lawyers recognize but rarely admit, the fire was going out. Not in a dramatic way, just the gradual shift from excitement to obligation. He and his paralegal, who was integral to his practice, ended that chapter around the same time. His advice to younger lawyers was implied, your career is a long road, but you should still build a life that is bigger than the office.
Tom’s Big Mistake
Tom’s most painful mistake was a hiring decision. An associate he trusted stole a valuable stock certificate from the firm’s safe deposit box, cashed it, and spent the money. The situation became a legal and professional nightmare, even though bonding coverage helped make the client whole quickly. The lesson is blunt, hiring is risk, and trust must be backed by systems. Background checks, controls, and clear procedures are not paranoia, they are protection.
Closing Thoughts
Tom’s story is a reminder that the basics still win. Write things down. Do the hard thing first. Pick up the phone. Build relationships before you need them. Give back to the profession and to the communities you care about. Protect your reputation like it is your retirement account, because it basically is. If you do those things long enough, business development stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like a byproduct of the way you show up.
About Tom Conner
Tom Conner is a fourth-generation Texan and veteran trial lawyer whose career spans more than four decades of practice in Houston. Raised in a small West Texas farming community, he built a respected legal career handling high-stakes civil and family matters, earning a reputation for integrity, preparation, and professional credibility. His memoir, From Cotton Fields to Courtrooms, blends personal history with reflections on major trials, leadership, and the discipline that shaped his journey.
Connect with Tom Conner
Website: https://tomconnerbooks.com/
Profile: https://www.lawcl.com/lawyers/thomas-r-conner/
For more information about taking your law practice to the next level, please email me directly at [email protected].
Steve Fretzin, an expert at legal business development, is the author of four books regarding the topic and is the host of the Be That Lawyer podcast. He has helped hundreds of attorneys across the world dramatically grow their book of business while living a well-balanced life. He can be reached at [email protected].