By Steve Fretzin and Stewart Hirsch

How Lawyers Win More Clients by Being Human

The most effective business development strategy for lawyers may have very little to do with selling. In a profession where technical expertise is increasingly expected, the lawyers who stand out are often the ones who know how to listen, build trust, and make people feel genuinely understood. For Stewart Hirsch, successful business development starts with an attitude of caring and curiosity rather than a polished sales pitch.

Stewart Hirsch’s career from private practice to in-house legal roles and eventually coaching lawyers and professional services leaders has given him a unique perspective on what actually creates strong client relationships. His experience demonstrates that lawyers can build substantial books of business by becoming better listeners, following up consistently, understanding the pressures facing their clients, and approaching every relationship as an opportunity to be useful.

Why How You Make People Feel Matters

Legal expertise is important, but it is no longer enough to differentiate a lawyer in a competitive market. Clients can find technically capable attorneys almost anywhere. What they remember is how a lawyer treated them, whether they felt heard, and whether the lawyer made their lives easier.

That is why business development starts long before a client hires you. Every interaction creates an impression. A lawyer who listens carefully, asks thoughtful questions, and demonstrates genuine interest can establish a level of trust that a sophisticated pitch cannot manufacture. When people feel that you actually care about their situation, the relationship becomes more meaningful and the possibility of future business becomes much more natural.

Replace the Sales Pitch With Curiosity

Many lawyers struggle with business development because they associate it with selling. They imagine having to promote themselves, convince someone to hire them, or constantly look for opportunities to turn conversations into business.

Stewart takes a different approach. Instead of starting with what you want from the relationship, start with curiosity about the other person. What are they working on? What challenges are they facing? What matters to them professionally? What pressures are they dealing with? These questions create conversations that feel natural rather than transactional.

The goal is not to force a business opportunity into every interaction. It is to develop enough understanding that you can recognize when you genuinely have something valuable to offer.

Learn From the Best Salespeople

One of Stewart’s influential lessons came from watching someone outside the legal profession sell effectively through listening and caring. The lesson was simple: great salespeople do not necessarily win because they talk the most. They win because they understand the person in front of them.

Lawyers can apply the same principle to business development. Rather than trying to explain every aspect of their practice, attorneys can spend more time asking questions and listening for what actually matters to a potential client or referral source. When you understand someone’s priorities, you can position your expertise around their needs instead of simply describing what you do.

That shift can make business development feel much more consistent with the way lawyers already think and work.

Follow-Up Is Where Relationships Become Real

A strong conversation is only the beginning. One of the most practical business development habits lawyers can develop is consistent follow-up.

Following up does not have to mean repeatedly asking someone for business. It can mean sending something relevant to a conversation you had, checking in after a major event, making an introduction, or simply reconnecting when you said you would. These small actions show that you were paying attention and that the relationship matters beyond a single interaction.

Another important habit is always establishing the next step. Whether that means scheduling another conversation, making an introduction, or agreeing to reconnect at a specific time, a clear next step prevents potentially valuable relationships from disappearing into an overflowing inbox.

Think Like an In-House Lawyer

Outside counsel can also strengthen business development by understanding how their clients actually operate. In-house lawyers are not simply looking for someone who can identify every possible legal risk. They are business decision-makers who have to balance legal considerations with budgets, timelines, internal politics, and organizational priorities.

That means outside counsel need to provide practical and directional advice. Instead of simply explaining every risk, effective outside lawyers help clients understand what matters most, what their options are, and what they should do next.

When a lawyer consistently makes an in-house client’s job easier, that lawyer becomes more than outside counsel. They become a trusted business advisor.

Follow the Work That Energizes You

Stewart’s own career demonstrates that lawyers do not necessarily have to follow the traditional path simply because it looks successful from the outside. His transition from law firm associate to in-house counsel and eventually to business development and leadership coaching reflects the value of paying attention to the work that creates energy and fulfillment.

Sometimes the opportunity that appears to be the obvious next step is not actually the right one. Lawyers can build more satisfying careers when they pay attention to what they enjoy, where they create the most value, and what kind of work they want to spend their time doing.

That same principle applies to business development. Lawyers are more likely to build authentic relationships when they pursue conversations and activities that genuinely interest them rather than forcing themselves into a version of networking that does not fit their personality.

Stop Marketing and Start Building Relationships

There is an important distinction between marketing and business development. Marketing can create awareness, visibility, and credibility, but relationships are what turn that awareness into opportunities.

For lawyers, business development is often about the cumulative effect of conversations, follow-ups, introductions, client interactions, and thoughtful questions. It is not one event or one campaign. It is a long-term process of becoming known, trusted, and remembered by the right people.

The more consistently lawyers demonstrate that they care about their clients and contacts, the easier it becomes for those people to think of them when a legal need arises.

Make Caring and Curiosity Your Competitive Advantage

Stewart Hirsch’s approach offers a simple but powerful alternative to traditional ideas about legal sales. Lawyers do not need to become aggressive marketers or transform themselves into salespeople. They need to become better at understanding people.

Technical excellence gets you into the conversation. Listening, curiosity, follow-up, and genuine care can determine whether the relationship continues.

As Stewart puts it, “Start with the attitude of caring and curiosity.” That mindset can change how lawyers approach networking, client development, follow-up, and even their broader careers.

Build Your Book of Business by Being Human

The strongest legal relationships are rarely built through perfect pitches. They are built when clients feel heard, respected, and understood. They develop when lawyers consistently follow through, provide useful advice, and demonstrate that they are invested in the person, not just the potential matter.

For lawyers who dislike traditional sales, that is good news. You do not have to become someone else to become a rainmaker. By listening more carefully, asking better questions, understanding the business pressures facing clients, and following up consistently, you can build a business development practice that feels natural while creating relationships that last.

About Stewart Hirsch

Stewart Hirsch, Esq. is the Managing Director of Strategic Relationships, LLC, where he serves as an executive leadership and business development coach, consultant, and facilitator. Drawing on more than 20 years of experience practicing law in both private practice and in-house roles at companies including Staples, TJX, and Welch’s, he helps lawyers, C-suite executives, and professional services leaders build high-impact client relationships, navigate complex communications, and accelerate career growth.

Recognized as a top business development coach by Massachusetts Lawyers Weekly, Stewart also serves as a Senior Coach for Trusted Advisor Associates, designs interactive corporate workshops, and works as a career coach for members of the Association of Corporate Counsel.

Connect with Stewart Hirsch

Website: https://strategicrelationships.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stewarthirsch/

Connect with Steve Fretzin

LinkedIn: Steve Fretzin
Twitter: @stevefretzin
Instagram: @fretzinsteve
Facebook: Fretzin, Inc.
Website: BETHATLAWYER.com
Email: [email protected]
Book: Legal Business Development Isn’t Rocket Science and more
YouTube: Steve Fretzin
Call Steve directly at 847-602-6911

Ready to Grow Your Law Practice?

If you are ready to grow your law practice without selling or chasing, schedule your free 30-minute strategy session with Steve Fretzin. The goal is to build a business development approach that feels natural, consistent, and aligned with the way you want to practice law.

You can also join the BE THAT LAWYER Community to connect with ambitious lawyers who are serious about growing their book of business, strengthening their brand, and becoming confident, consistent rainmakers.

Be sure to check out BE THAT LAWYER Coaches Corner for the strategies Steve uses with his clients to win more business and love their careers again.

And if you are ready to go from good to GOAT in your legal marketing game, don’t miss PIMCON, where the brightest minds in professional services gather to share what really works.

Thank you to LEX Reception, Rankings.io, and Lawyer.com for supporting the legal community.

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