In this episode, Steve Fretzin and Alefiyah Lindo discuss:
- Planning the future by evaluating what actually worked
- Supporting happiness without trying to control it
- Using energy as a diagnostic tool for alignment
- Treating burnout as feedback and adjusting accordingly
Key Takeaways:
- Reviewing the past year reveals which habits, strategies, and commitments deserve to continue and which do not. Entering a new year without reflection leads to repeating default patterns rather than making intentional choices. Sustainable growth comes from consistency and long-term relationship building, not one-off efforts.
- You cannot create happiness for others, only support their ability to create it themselves. Taking responsibility for other people’s emotional outcomes leads to exhaustion and blurred boundaries. Healthy leadership and parenting require allowing others to experience discomfort and self-direction.
- Alignment exists when beliefs, words, actions, and emotions are consistent with one another. Chronic fatigue, burnout, and self-sabotage are indicators of misalignment rather than laziness or failure. Tracking what energizes and depletes you provides clearer guidance than what you think you “should” enjoy.
- Burnout signals a need to realign priorities, responsibilities, and expectations. Bringing subconscious patterns into conscious awareness is a prerequisite for lasting change. Different results require different actions, even when those actions challenge long-held assumptions.
“Energy work really is when what we believe, what we say, what we do, and what we feel are all on the same page. That’s what energy alignment is.” — Alefiyah Lindo
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About Alefiyah Lindo: Alefiyah Lindo is a Mind-Body-Energy Intuitive and licensed psychotherapist with over 20 years of experience, integrating holistic, non-dual approaches to healing that address the mind, body, and energy system. Her work blends intuitive guidance with practices such as mindfulness, breathwork, EFT, and energy medicine, shaped by early Buddhist practice and trauma-informed training. Alefiyah holds degrees from Purdue University and the University of Illinois, is licensed in Illinois, and provides personalized care rooted in both extensive professional training and lived experience, guided by the principle of Namaste — honoring the light in each person she serves.
Connect with Alefiyah Lindo:
Website: https://www.alefiyahlindo.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alefiyahlindo/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alefiyah-lindo-6a158a83/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@alefiyahlindo9955
Connect with Steve Fretzin:
LinkedIn: Steve Fretzin
Twitter: @stevefretzin
Instagram: @fretzinsteve
Facebook: Fretzin, Inc.
Website: Fretzin.com
Email: [email protected]
Book: Legal Business Development Isn’t Rocket Science and more!
YouTube: Steve Fretzin
Call Steve directly at 847-602-6911
Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You’re the expert. Your podcast will prove it.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Steve Fretzin [00:00]
Attention attorneys, if you’re happy letting randomness run your book of business. This episode may not be for you. The next part might introduce systems that may make success easier for you and get better results. All right, everybody, let’s get into it. Enjoy the show.
Narrator [00:21]
You’re listening to be that lawyer, life changing strategies and resources for growing a successful law practice. Each episode your host, author and lawyer coach, Steve Fretzin, will take a deeper dive helping you grow your law practice in less time with greater results. Now here’s your host. Steve Fretzin.
Steve Fretzin [00:44]
Hey everybody. Steve Fretzin, welcome back to the be that lawyer podcast. You know, it’s the holiday season, and we all have to start thinking about, not only how we’re spending time with family and friends and really, you know, taking a break and getting ready for 2026 but also think about planning for 2026 I’m not saying you have to write a 20 page essay about it, but really consider and track and measure what happened in 2025 What did you love about it? What did you hate about it? What worked, what didn’t? I went through, by the way, just for the folks listening, I want to thank you all, because 50% of the business that I received this year was in or around this podcast. So this podcast leading into LinkedIn, this podcast leading into the book, whatever it might be above the law, folks are listening. You guys are doing a great job, and people are reaching out to talk to me about my services. And I’ve signed up a bunch of people from the podcast this year, so I appreciate that, and I want to thank you all, and I’m just hoping that you guys are getting as much juice out of the squeeze from this show as possible. And as you all know, I am a master of bringing on really interesting people today is absolutely no different. I’ve got Alefiyah up in the background. How are you doing? Feeling good?
Alefiyah Lindo [00:44]
Good. Yeah, good. How are you?
Steve Fretzin [00:44]
Good? Good. You’re feeling good. You got the right energy today?
Alefiyah Lindo [00:44]
Yes, absolutely.
Steve Fretzin [00:44]
You better, or we’re in trouble.
Alefiyah Lindo [02:01]
I know. Yeah, I’m bringing my best.
Steve Fretzin [02:02]
There we go. We’re gonna have a really robust and fun conversation today. Let’s start off with our quote of the show. I cannot hear it. It goes, young Pablo, right? Yes, Pueblo, I cannot make you happy, but I can commit to support you in the creation of your own happiness. That really resonates with me. But I want to welcome you to the show, and I want you to just share that quote and why you love that quote so much with everybody.
Alefiyah Lindo [02:25]
First of all, thank you, Steve, for inviting me. This is such a pleasure. This quote is really important to me, because it shifted for me the paradigm that I was in my background, just real briefly. I was started off in marketing, then I kind of made my way into social work, and then I became a therapist. So there’s been a lot of my journey has been of service. And so my assumption was that I was here to help people and make them happy to some extent, right? So it was my responsibility. And so the reason why I love this quote is it’s really not my responsibility to make you happy, but I can support you in that journey. So it really speaks to the journey that I’ve been on and the paradigm shifts that I’ve made.
Steve Fretzin [03:06]
I think it’s an important mantra, when you have people in your life like my angsty teenager, that I’m just trying to make him happy by buying him a concert tickets he wants, or trying to make him happy by taking him fishing, which we’re doing this week. We’re going to the keys, and we’re going to be fishing. And, you know, I know that’s going to make him happy, however, his general happiness, right? I can’t control that and so, but I am supportive of him being I want to, obviously, we want our loved ones to be happy, but I think it’s so smart that we can’t really control that all we can do is support it. So really, really intelligent. So you guys are in for, as I mentioned quite a treat. We’ve got Alefiyah Lindo, who is focused on helping people with their energy. You’ve got the energy intuitive with Alefiyah Lindo, so give us a little bit of your background, how you came to be. I mean, you shared about your movement, from social work to therapy and but this is a whole other level of commitment to like being an energy, intuitive. So people need to know what that is and how you got into that world.
Alefiyah Lindo [04:04]
Yeah, and I’ll try to make it really brief. So with as a therapist, I early on, I realized that my work was very limited, and I only could get people so far, you know, talking about our concerns and issues, and there’s a huge place for that. But I started incorporating things like body work and meditation in my practice earlier on, and I still reached, I guess, a roadblock with that. And so, long story short, over covid, I got introduced to the lymphatic system, which is really our waste management system, and that led me to energy work. So it almost came full circle for me, where I started incorporating the mind the body and our essence of who we are, our spirit, our energy. And once I did that, it almost felt like, oh, like I kind of completed the puzzle. So to speak. I had, you know, all the different pieces. And in a nutshell, energy work really is when we So, what we believe, what we say, what we do and what we feel. You are all on the same page. That’s what energy alignment is, and that’s a big part of my practice.
Steve Fretzin [05:06]
And I feel like I’m sure I’m saying this, and people are going to agree that they suffer from this too, that there’s certain parts of my life that are aligned really well, and then there’s parts of my life and things that I do that are not aligned. I’ll give you a quick example. You know, last night, my wife had some leftover ice cream in the fridge, and I knew after seven o’clock, that’s just a bad idea. Yeah, and I pounded that ice cream and I paid the price like my stomach just did not. I’m not getting into details, of course, but my stomach and my body just rejected it did not appreciate that at all. So that’s like, I’m aligned in some ways, of like, living a great life and helping others and being of service. And there’s things in exercise and sleeping the right amount, in meditation and things that I do, but then there’s this stupid decision I make that kind of blows it out. Like, is that I know that’s normal, but like, How can I be more aligned to maybe not commit those kinds of foul decisions.
Alefiyah Lindo [06:04]
Yeah, I think it starts with so let me start with, we’re all made up of energy, and there’s energy all around us, and in order to come into alignment, we need to start with decreasing the amount of resistance we experience. So your lovely ice cream example. The place to start would be, can I be okay with the fact that I had a slip up? Okay? So it starts with acceptance, yeah. And what that does is it creates a resistance. So the conflict between the mind, body and energy, or spirit, or whatever you want to call that, right? So that’s step one. We start with decreasing the resistance. And what happens when you decrease the resistance is you create space, and in that space you have this awareness, because you already have the awareness there wasn’t the best choice. So instead of beating ourselves up for it, we can sit in that awareness and acceptance, create that space, and what will happen is the next time around, because you’ve been kind to yourself, my guess is you may be awareness of, ah, maybe not a full bowl of ice cream, maybe two bites of it, or three spoonfuls of it. Yeah, wow. So it’s stepping gently in the direction of alignment, yeah.
Steve Fretzin [07:08]
The interesting thing is, if I had one spoon of ice cream, it probably would do it right. It probably would satisfy the sugar hunger or the craving that I had. And, you know, the other thing is, like, my dad grew up the late great Larry the lawyer. Everybody grew up in the projects. We were brought up with this poor project mentality of, have to finish everything on your plate. It irked my father when I realized in my 20s that I don’t have to finish everything on my plate. And like, we would finish a meal together, and he’d be like, you didn’t even need half of what you have. Well, this is America, right? We have these ridiculous portions and sizes and so I but I think when it comes to ice cream, I don’t I, yeah, for some reason I just, I finished what’s left. So it’s just a bad a bad call, but that one spoon definitely would have done it. But I think people struggle, and lawyers, I mean, we’re all batteries, and we’ve kind of hit this subject quite a bit on the show lately, but we’re not really utilizing the battery, and we’re really not charging the battery. So why is mastering your energy so important? Why? Where are we missing the boat? And what’s the consequence of that?
Alefiyah Lindo [08:16]
Yeah, so if we’re not in alignment, kind of like what you said with, you know, making it is making a choice. You know, kind of eating this ice cream. It’s not the end of the world, really. There are no bad choices, in my opinion, you know, kind of like Google Maps, our lives will reroute us, and that’s totally okay. What happens is, when we come into alignment and master our energy, things get expedited. So our lives kind of flow a little bit easier. So again, there’s no right or wrong. You can take a meandering route from point A to point B and have a lot of ups and downs and struggles, or you can make your journey smoother. So at any point in time, we have the choice to decide, Okay, do I want a smooth journey, or do I want an adventurous and exciting and, you know, arduous journey? So it really kind of boils down to, what is our intention? What do we want at this point in time?
Steve Fretzin [09:06]
Okay, and then what’s, what would be an example of a good starting point? So there’s someone listening, you know, that is stressing out. It’s the end of the year. They didn’t maybe have the best year on a number of levels, in what, where do you start with getting your energy in alignment, so people can maybe do something at home that might be useful or helpful.
Alefiyah Lindo [09:25]
Yeah, it’s that’s a great question. What I do with my clients, for example, is we right away start with something called an energy audit. And I think your listeners can do that as well. That’s the first step, if you just took an inventory of where you’re leaking energy. And what I mean by that is. So if you can look at, or just take a piece of paper line down the middle, one side will be things that energize you, and the other side is things that deplete you. And it does not have to have any make any logical sense of why these things appear this way. So it could be anything that So, for example, the bowl of ice cream in the mom. It actually energized you, because you were so excited and you really wanted to eat it.
Steve Fretzin [10:03]
Well, the thing is, it was my wife’s ice cream, and so I thought I was doing her a favor, but helping her with her energy, by taking that energy and putting it into my belly. And I think she did actually appreciate it, because I think she’s very mindful, and she’s much better at, you know, she’s a yoga instructor. And so when she, like, gets the mind body connection, and, like, most desserts, she turns away. And, like, she’s very good. So I was doing her a favor. That’s how I try to rationalize it in the moment. Yeah.
Alefiyah Lindo [10:31]
And so you bring up this amazing point, and it kind of goes back to our quote of the day, right? It’s you can’t you were trying to make her happy. You were trying to help her. You were trying to do something really in her, I guess, best interest, but in the process hurting yourself.
Steve Fretzin [10:45]
Well, they was totally, was a little underhanded too, like I was, you know, I kind of knew she’d say, yes, you can have it, yeah, with the greedy sense of, I’m gonna get this thing that I want, right, right,
Alefiyah Lindo [10:56]
Right, right, right. So there’s a lot of fun and play and, you know, that’s that’s all mixed in.
Steve Fretzin [11:01]
Okay, but we do this energy audit, and we create this list of things that really like this podcast and talking with you, this goes on the left like this energizes me. This makes me feel good. I just love having these conversations. So doing more is it to like? Create the list so that you know what to avoid and what to do more of. Or there are deeper meanings behind this list?
Alefiyah Lindo [11:22]
Absolutely, that’s the place to start. So once you put it on paper, I think it really surprises. And everyone who’s done this list has had some level of awareness of, oh my gosh, this list of things that I that deplete me I am doing a lot of and so you can give it a percentage of of your day. What percent of your time, are you spending on these things that energize you versus things that deplete you?
Steve Fretzin [11:45]
Yeah, well, and then there are some, you know, maybe some tough decisions to make, right, absolutely. Then where do, how do we, you know, people are in bad habits. People are, let’s say lawyers are stressed out in the sense of, you know, doing way too many billable hours. They’re doing associate level work when maybe they should be doing high level strategic work, and they have a whole list of things on the right side column that are hard to avoid, because it’s like part of their job, and they really don’t have maybe the delegation automation or support system to handle it. So how do we get out of things that deplete our energy, but they’re kind of our jobs. Yeah.
Alefiyah Lindo [12:23]
So what happens with when we work with energy and we work with these things that are in the second column, that are of the depleters, they’re really coming from your subconscious mind. They’re not in your logical conscious mind. That’s a really smart, small percentage of what we see. And so if it’s in your subconscious mind by making, just by making this list, you’re bringing it up to the conscious mind. And it’s only when it comes because it appears in our conscious mind do we have the ability to choose differently. Okay, so until then, it’s everything is happening on autopilot, and it’s almost like, okay, my day just went by and I’m so burnt out. Don’t know why. That’s why, because it’s, there’s another program that’s running it, yeah.
Steve Fretzin [13:03]
So it’s really like, you know, knowledge is power, and identification is really the first step to solving a problem. Like, if I’m an alcoholic, like identifying, like saying to myself, you are an alcoholic man, yes, yes. Is that. You need to admit it and commit to the idea that’s the reality of your situation before you can actually take action and try to resolve it.
Alefiyah Lindo [13:25]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. And, you know, think of what happens is, especially in terms of business, when we work with, say, the idea that we have to kind of work on strategy. If strategy comes from a place of stillness, it has a very different effect, versus a place of scarcity. And I think majority of us today are working, are operating from the program of scarcity. And so this little exercise can really get, give us an, I guess, a snapshot of where am I operating from right now, yeah. And so there’s so many different exercises that people can do, you know, once you know, as an adjunct to this little one to create that space.
Steve Fretzin [14:01]
And burnout is one of the most used and overused words in legal right, because of the nature of the business for many attorneys, what’s your take on the true meaning of burnout, and what does it want to communicate?
Alefiyah Lindo [14:16]
Yeah, so I truly operate from the belief that everything is happening for me, and that applies to everything in my life. So if someone you know bumps into me and I have a car accident, it’s happening for me. It’s just that I have to find that that meaning of what that is. And so when we talk about burnout, my understanding of burnout is, it’s the, you know, it’s really our our energy body guiding us to where we’re kind of hitting up against a roadblock. That’s it. So it’s almost like it’s a pilot light. It’s like saying, Okay, you’re burning out. Pay attention. It’s almost like we need to lean into the areas we’re burning out in, versus saying, oh my god, I’m burnt out. I need to stop being burnt out. And I’m so overwhelmed. And. If that makes sense.
Steve Fretzin [15:00]
It does. It does. But I mean, there’s something you said that just resonated with me, and I, I would love to train my brain to do this. I’m sitting in traffic, and I’m saying, Why me? And this is horrible, and I feel like I’m in traffic jail. I’m never going to get to where I’m going. This guy cut me off. And you’re suggesting, I think, very simply, that this is happening for me. And I think that’s such a brain flip. It is, how do people flip their brain that way? It seems almost impossible to do. Yeah.
Alefiyah Lindo [15:35]
So let’s break it down real quickly. So first of all, it’s a paradigm shift you are saying to your mind, body and energy, so that I’ve been operating on this one paradigm for so long, and all of a sudden, there’s another one that’s available to me. It’s a new option. And so I’m not saying just believe it. I’m saying try it out. So what if you just decided one day that, what if everything is happening for me? So what that does is it forces us to move from scarcity mindset to abundance mindset. That’s the simplest way to explain it. Yeah. But if we want to go into a little bit deeper, what happens is, at any given point in time, all we have is the present moment. What happens is, if we’re sitting in our car and kind of wondering, why am I stuck in this traffic jam and why me? I want to be late for this meeting all that stuff, now, we’re now accessing our past and the programs that are the beliefs, if you want to call it limiting beliefs, is a new word that everybody uses, right? Those are our beliefs we’re operating from, from kind of like your dad. You’ve got to finish everything on your plate. That’s a belief, yeah. And so now we’re bringing the past into this present moment. So now, if you change that to say, You know what, I no longer want to drag my past into this moment, and I want to create something different. You have to leave that old paradigm behind.
Steve Fretzin [16:48]
With proven SEO and digital marketing strategies that drive actual clients to your firm. Rankings.io. Prides itself on proof, not promises. Mentality. The best firms hire rankings.io. When they want rankings, traffic in cases other law firm marketing agencies can’t deliver. Get more rankings, get cases and schedule a free [email protected] today. Hey everybody. It’s Steve Fretzin as the you know, I’m the host of the be that lawyer podcast, and if you’re serious about growing your law practice, let’s talk. I’ve coached hundreds of attorneys to build bigger books of business without selling chasing or wasting time. This isn’t a sales pitch. It’s a real 30 minute strategy session to explore what’s possible for you in your practice. Just head over to fretzen.com and grab a time that works for you, and let’s make this your breakout year. So the old paradigm is, I hate traffic, like I don’t drive into the city ever, if I can help it, because I know what’s coming, and so it’s limiting my, maybe my networking ability, or my energy, of like, having that city experience. So I just, I need to, sort of like, have a day where I just agree that everything’s happening for me today, whether I’m driving into the city and sitting in traffic, whether garbage gets, you know, my garbage gets tipped over and there’s garbage all over, and I got to clean it up. Whatever it might be. I’ve got that that’s happening for me. That’s very challenging, though, I think for most people to accomplish.
Alefiyah Lindo [18:12]
Absolutely, and this is by no means saying, if you’re in the throes of burnout, like this month, for example, for a lot of people, yeah, and do this, you know, just, you know, just pretend like everything is happening for you. It’s not going to work. Going to work. Yeah, so we have to really bring our nervous system into calm first. So there’s this idea that not idea. So our nervous system operates in parasympathetic and sympathetic. And I think just to simply put, sympathetic is when we are stressed out. Parasympathetic is in the rest and digest mode. And so if we are in the stressed out mode, your mind will not allow you to entertain any new ideas. So if you’re trying to brainstorm and be creative, you will not be able to be creative if you’re in the sympathetic state. So if you’re behind a car, I mean, behind a wheel in a car, and you’re stuck in traffic and you’re agitated, don’t expect to have these new insights or, you know, brainstorm some amazing ideas for your project or your business. It’s not going to happen. Yeah. So the same thing for this is, I love what you said about just take a day and pretend, you know, kind of practice this, make it a game. Take one hour of a week and say, You know what? For this one hour, I’m just going to pretend that everything’s happening for me. Yeah? And then your your son or daughter, comes in like, I have a teenager as well, comes in and says, I hate you, and you did this and you ruined my life. Whatever. It’s happening for me. Yeah. So now connect that with the burnout. All of these points in time for us are happening for us. Burnout happening for us. It’s a sign that we need to pay attention to something our son or daughter. So my daughter, for example, every time she responds or reacts to me in a certain way, I pause and I say, Okay, how did I create that? Like what is happening for me, that she felt like she needed to respond that way? And what happens is, with that awareness, I make a different choice so I do not react like I have in the past. Of saying, How dare you talk? To me this way, which I do occasionally say, yeah. But if I stop, if I do not react, what happens is, she has the space to navigate that emotion, and all of a sudden she makes a different choice, yeah, yeah.
Steve Fretzin [20:13]
I mean, I think it’s interesting. I was in the car with my son during a windstorm, and he was driving for two hours in this terrible wind with trucks weaving around and everything, and I was trying to remain calm. Then while that’s happening, he was complaining to me about, you know, his sleep schedule being off, and his, you know, he missed an essay, and he’s gonna get a zero on this, and it’s gonna affect his grades, and he’s and I have all the answers, like, in my head, yeah, I know exactly what mistakes to avoid. Like, I’m consulting with high level lawyers all day, and I’m a solution, you know, man, like Master, like this is what I do all day. And I just sat there, and I bit my lip for two hours, and I didn’t say anything. And then I get a call from him, Dad, my grades are up, my sleep schedule is back on. But I didn’t help him at all. I just sat there in the mud with him, and I was, like, kind of proud of myself, and I was also proud of him, and it really resonated with me that I can’t change him, and I’m really I have to be remembered that I’m more of a shepherd than I am, you know, a micromanager, helicopter, dad and it. But I think that was, like, for me, a big learning lesson, as hard as it was that it was so important that I didn’t jump in and solve for him or try to solve for him.
Alefiyah Lindo [21:26]
Yeah, so Steve, can I throw a big one out there? Yeah, let’s have what you did with your son is really what we are meant to do with everything and everyone in our lives. Wow.
Steve Fretzin [21:37]
Well, it’s boy is that hard. I mean, lawyers in particular, and you guys are listening, you’re you’re nodding your head or shaking your head, but like, again, you know, I if I had 10 lawyers in a room, and I said, raise your hand if you love solving problems. Like every hand goes up. Like in, we’re in a time where, you know, we see so many mistakes, and it’s our job to come in and solve them. So to not do that is very, very hard, yeah, but I think, but expand on that, like, why is that so important for us to not solve? Yeah?
Alefiyah Lindo [22:07]
So we so let me kind of introduce an idea that I love. It’s called soft power versus hard power. And so hard power, if you want to think of it as what we are used to, it’s hustle, it’s grind, it’s effort and all this, you know, a pushing that we are so conditioned to, right? It’s we kind of Kudo, you know, give kudos to our kids for putting in this effort and really working hard on something soft power, on the other hand, is what happens when we come into alignment. So when all of our pieces, so to speak, you know, what we believe, our beliefs, our actions, our feelings, all that come into alignment. What happens is we create stillness, and from that the solutions arise. So now we’re no longer needing to hustle and grind to problem solve. We’re almost like allowing creating the space like you did for your son, and the solutions just arose. Yeah, it’s just that we are not we do not know how to trust that piece.
Steve Fretzin [23:02]
Yeah, yeah. It’s just, again, we’re all wired certain ways, and breaking those or separating those wires, especially at 55 years old, like, I mean, right, everything’s ingrained. And the way I do things, and the things I say, and, you know, my sarcastic, snarky, you know, comment to your people, or whatever it might be, you know, fortunately, it’s working out for me, but it’s but, you know, you’re in the change business, like I’m in the change business, and it’s hard to get other people to change. And so we need them to come to the table, ready for that, and then once they are, we can start to work with them in a way that’s meaningful. Yeah, what are some of the like wrapping up, like, second to last question, if you will, like, what’s something someone can do on their own to make some changes for 2026 I mean, we have this opportunity to have a better, more purposeful life in 2026 what’s something that they should other than the audit? Like, what’s another thing you would have them do.
Alefiyah Lindo [24:01]
Yeah, so take that audit and then just sit and be truly, brutally honest with yourself. You know, there’s this definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, right? You know that one, practical people know that one, and so that’s what’s really what’s happening for us when we burn out, or we’re, you know, so focused on the 2000 hours, billing hours, all that kind of stuff, right? It’s we’re functioning from a paradigm that I believe is outdated. And so what I would recommend is sit and identify areas. What are you doing in your life thus far, and where has it gotten you right? So it’s and what will happen is, in order for something to change or for you to have a greater difference in your life, you have to do something different. So you know, maybe it’s not everything’s happening for you. Maybe it’s something completely different, but identify something different and try that. Because in order to shift your life, you have to stop doing what you have been doing. And that doesn’t mean just upheaval your life. Find one or two things and that you know that.
Steve Fretzin [25:00]
Well, that’s so powerful. I was convinced this is, you know, off track a little bit, but I was convinced that, because of media in my life, that, you know, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and I could not have a day without putting what I considered energy right, a bagel, cereal, eggs into me in the morning, because that’s how I’m going to function through the day. And someone told me that’s not the case at all, that you know you can have your morning coffee or whatever ritual you have, but ultimately, you know you don’t eat it. And by the way, you know intermittent fasting and maybe stop eating after seven o’clock. That’s having that break could be super healthy, and I’ve broken down a little bit at night, but with that ice cream and stuff, but like, I haven’t had breakfast in years, and I have just as much or more energy in the morning than I ever had be when I had breakfast. And by the way, like my stomach feels better too. So I don’t know if you guys are noticing a trend with my stomach. I got to take care of myself, but it’s true. Like eating healthy, I feel great, and when I don’t, I don’t so, but that was a belief that I had, and I needed someone to help me break it. And then once it was broken, you then you can get into a new, better habit, and then your life is just better. And I think it’s just a series of those life decisions and finding the right habit to make it stick Absolutely.
Alefiyah Lindo [26:15]
And there’s no end. There’s no people think of it as I need to, you know, do all the stuff, and then I’ll be fine, or I need to accomplish something. It’s life is a journey, and it just keeps going. Yeah? So there is no finish line, and if there’s no finish line, you know, learn from your mistakes and and do better next time is really the simplest way to put it.
Steve Fretzin [26:33]
Well. All right, so that’s all fine and good, but let’s talk about a bad decision you made in in the form of Alefiyah’s big mistake.
Alefiyah Lindo [26:43]
So I think the big mistake would span decades, and my mistake, and I kind of, I don’t as of, right now, it’s going to be, it’s going to be paradoxical what I say, I don’t believe there are any mistakes, because everything is happening for.
Steve Fretzin [26:56]
Well, that’s I that’s actually the purpose of this segment, is that we make a mistake over decades or in a minute, and that mistake ends up becoming a fantastic life lessons. And that’s the whole segment, so I just totally interrupted you. But no, that’s totally fine. That’s so what was the mistake? And then what was the fix or the result?
Alefiyah Lindo [27:14]
Yeah, so as So, I would say it was not following my gut. Okay, I’m a very intuitive person, naturally, and I was probably when I was very young as well. It’s just that I didn’t have the framework or the support to recognize my abilities, so to speak, and honor them, and so I spent a lot of time serving, you know, kind of taking care of other people, thought, you know, complying in many ways that were not in my best interest, yeah. And so that would be, I mean, it’s that would be what I would call a mistake.
Steve Fretzin [27:46]
And following your gut and your into intuition has become a much bigger part of your life. And the results, you know.
Alefiyah Lindo [27:53]
Above all else, yeah, I focus on staying in alignment as much as I possibly can.
Steve Fretzin [27:58]
Okay, yeah, yeah, beautiful, beautiful. Well, fantastic. Thank you so much. Let’s take a moment thank our wonderful sponsors. One of the sponsors is me, and I’m going to just mention everybody. If you are currently a rainmaker, or know a rainmaker who would like to be in a rainmaker roundtable with other top performers, managing partners, law firm leaders, equity partners who have million dollar plus books, you’re going to want to talk to me, because there’s something about being in a peer advisory group with other like minded folks, sharing problems, talking solutions. I bring in experts like Lithia to talk with these groups on a regular basis, so they’re getting some kind of, you know, what’s it called, like, semi private sort of lessons in these groups, and the accountability of having your best year every year with Rainmaker roundtable. So just email me at [email protected] or connect with me on LinkedIn about that, and I’m happy to talk with you about those groups. Who’s in them when they meet, and if you’d like to join rankings, io, one of the top, if not the top, web agency out there, helping people get you know leads in the door, and, of course, the law her podcast with Sonia. So check all of them out, Alefiyah. Thank you so much. If people want to get in touch with you, they loved everything you said, like I did. What are the best ways for them to reach out and find you?
Alefiyah Lindo [29:12]
You know, they can go to my website, it’s Alefiyah.com or they can email me directly at [email protected]
Steve Fretzin [29:19]
Yeah, and all in the show notes, everybody. So again, just click in the notes and connect with leafia. I think you’ll be very pleased. Thank you so much. I mean, I knew when we met that there was a synergy and that there was going to be some, you know, connectivity and some enjoyment. I thought that in spades, just having you on the show, sharing your wisdom, and you’re really getting tactical with my audience about things that they can do, think about and do that really means a lot to me, because we can talk, you know, big picture and big level stuff, but at the end of the day, people want to get into the weeds, and they want to start working on stuff on a granular level. And you really laid that out for us today.
Alefiyah Lindo [29:53]
Well, thank you so much, Steve, this has been a pleasure in our conversation. I love what you stand for and how you are showing up in this. World. So thankful for that.
Steve Fretzin [30:02]
Thank you. Now, if my you can just tell my teenager everything will be resolved in the world. Though, my kid, Andrew, is doing great, and he and I are very close friends, as well as having a great relationship. And I complain about him on the show because it’s fun and it’s true. But ultimately, I see him, I know he’s got the best heart, and I can see him growing into the man that I know he will be. He just needs to be punched in the face three or four times before he decides to duck. That’s sort of how his life lessons. So anyway, Andrew, if you ever hear this episode, I love you buddy. All right, listen, thank you Alefiyah, and thank you everybody for hanging out with us for the last 30 My My hope is that you really do have a fantastic year in 2026 make the best of it and know that we’re here for you in your corner to be that lawyer, confident, organized and a skilled Rainmaker. Take care. Everybody. Be safe. Be well. We will talk again soon.
Narrator [30:55]
Thanks for listening to be that loyal, life changing strategies and resources for growing a successful law practice. Visit Steve’s website, fredson.com for additional information and to stay up to date on the latest legal business development and marketing trends for more information and important links about today’s episode. Check out today’s show notes.