In this episode, Steve Fretzin and Dr. Rachel Boehm discuss:
- Building systems that support adaptability
- Redefining peak performance for longevity
- Clearing mental clutter for growth
- Pursuing fulfillment through reflection and learning
Key Takeaways:
- Sustainable success in law combines strong organizational structures with personal flexibility. This balance allows attorneys to navigate change, manage chaos, and stay grounded amid demands.
- True performance isn’t about short-term output but about consistency and well-being over time. Intentional rest, stress management, and self-care sustain excellence without leading to burnout.
- Unhelpful “head trash” often limits progress more than external pressures or workload.
- Addressing mindset challenges builds clarity, resilience, and openness to new possibilities.
- Regularly reassessing goals and definitions of success keeps one aligned and purposeful. Continuous improvement, mentorship, and meaning-centered work lead to lasting contentment.
“Culture is a verb. You have to keep creating it.” — Dr. Rachel Boehm
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About Dr. Rachel Boehm: Rachel Boehm is an award-winning journalist turned workplace-wellness advocate who helps individuals and organizations redefine success, mental clarity, and sustainable performance. With a background in communications and well-being, she guides clients past “head trash,” builds adaptive systems, and cultivates lasting contentment rather than short-term fixes. Rachel’s work blends empathy and strategy, equipping professionals to lead with heart, purpose, and resilience.
Connect with Dr. Rachel Boehm:
Website: https://rachelboehm.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelboehm/
Connect with Steve Fretzin:
LinkedIn: Steve Fretzin
Twitter: @stevefretzin
Instagram: @fretzinsteve
Facebook: Fretzin, Inc.
Website: Fretzin.com
Email: [email protected]
Book: Legal Business Development Isn’t Rocket Science and more!
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Call Steve directly at 847-602-6911
Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You’re the expert. Your podcast will prove it.
FULL TRANSCRIPT
Steve Fretzin [00:00]
Hey everybody. Steve Fretzin here, and if you’re ready to grow your practice, you’re going to want to attend on October 30, our be that lawyer live. We’ve done a bunch of these, and this one’s going to be an absolute game changer for you. Seats are limited. You’re going to want to sign up at fretzen.com/events you could find it on Eventbrite. Be that lawyer and enjoy the show.
Narrator [00:22]
You’re listening to be that lawyer. Life changing strategies and resources for growing a successful law practice. Each episode, your host, author and lawyer coach, Steve Fretzin, will take a deeper dive helping you grow your law practice in less time with greater results. Now here’s your host, Steve Fretzin.
Steve Fretzin [00:44]
Hey everybody, welcome back to the be that lawyer podcast. I am Steve Fretzin, and if you’re new to the show, then not welcome back, but welcome to the show. This is a show all about helping you to be that lawyer confident, organized in a skilled Rainmaker, and we spare no expense to make sure that we’re bringing on the best guests to get you the most takeaways, so that every single day can be your best day and live your best lawyer’s life. Want to just remind everybody we recently updated the name after much thought and contemplation, from Coach’s Corner to future rainmakers. So check out future rainmakers Podcast. I’m really there to tell you and share with you, what are the best kept secrets that I’m working with my clients on. I’m even bringing on clients to kind of share their experiences, so you can really start to plan and execute in a similar fashion to the way my clients work every day. Obviously, it’s a little lighter, but it is highly tactical and actionable, which is, I think, what you guys are really looking for. So check out that just Google it, or check that out on your Apple phone or whatever you want to do. All right, enough about that. Rachel, how you doing?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [01:44]
Good. Thanks. How are you, Steve?
Steve Fretzin [01:46]
I’m doing great. Doing great. You just got back from Sedona, and we were talking about what a wonderful place that is wonderful, fantastic. Just, you know, I don’t see stars here in Chicago, like there’s so much light pollution, you don’t see stars. And I long for that. I long for looking up and just seeing the universe.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [02:01]
I couldn’t have said it better, Steve, was you have a few in the skies in the DC metro area, but there it was nothing like it, right? No, yeah.
Steve Fretzin [02:11]
It’s beautiful. I told my wife, I said, we need to go up to Iceland. I think they’ve got the bad and the rural Borealis and all that kind of stuff. But I just, I definitely want to get back to looking at the stars. So let’s jump in, speaking of stars and physics and whatever, and God, okay, here’s your quote of the show. God gave all the easy problems to the physicist. James March, welcome to the show. And then tell us why that’s your quote of the show.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [02:33]
Well, because I work with people who are fascinating and complex and like, you know, a never ending source of fun and chaos and inner conflicts and, you know, external I mean, we’re just, we’re all hot mess in the best of ways, and unpacking that, you know, intentions and actions and impact. And, I mean, that’s kind of what I teach my clients to do for themselves, and then if I’m looking at the organization, as opposed to an individual across the organization, and it’s not easy. I do love the Viktor Frankl quote as well, but this one is less known, and speaks to kind of the science and art of what we do when we’re working with other humans so.
Steve Fretzin [03:18]
Yeah and I think, you know, there’s systems, and there’s physics, and there’s things that are repeatable, that are constant, and then there’s all of the chaos that surrounds it. And so I think people that can find and I think we’ll get into the weeds on this in a few minutes, but people that can find order and find systems tend to then be more successful and find that they can handle the chaos better, but that might be something to jump into in a few minutes. Let’s also just introduce you so people know who you are and how you came to be everybody. Dr, Rachel Boehm is the founder of Rb strategies. Give us a little background in how you got to where you are today, and working with, you know, organizations and law firms and things like that.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [03:58]
Yeah, sure. So I run a modern change management firm, modern because for a few different reasons, one, specifically looking at people so organizational behavior, individual behavior, how our mind, our head trash, if you will, our mindset.
Steve Fretzin [04:13]
Oh, I love head trash. Yeah. I mean, I don’t love it. I love that phrase, head trash.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [04:17]
Yeah, stealing it from a few other folks, because it’s so beautifully descriptive. You know, how does all those wires get crossed? Right back to that quote, particular, in general, but also under times of change and stress. I mean, even good change exponential growth, good change is scary. Change is scary by design. It, you know, back in the day, alerted us to like, is this a good barrier? A deadly barrier. I don’t know it’s new, right? So there’s reasons why we do what we do and how we react, the way we react, but we are not like our brains are not updated enough for the world that we are currently in. And I’ll try to pull back from the weeds there and save that for later. But when we look at organization. Change. It is no longer just this kind of, oh, I’m going to go on, I’m going to do a restructuring, I’m going to do a riff, I’m going to merge or acquire, or whatever those we do look at those business transitions, but we also look at the Every second is whack a mole, change, yeah, which is more and more common. And so, you know, when I’m working with my clients, it’s either this change event, right, the merger, the acquisition, the more traditional change management trigger, and also left, right, two, stepping our way forward. You know, nobody knows what’s going on, reactive and sometimes, and I see this a lot with law firms, sometimes it’s even under the best of management, it just is. It’s a reactive industry, and other times it’s not only is it a reactive industry, but also how we are managing it, or managing people, is exacerbating the issue.
Steve Fretzin [05:55]
But I think that’s a great lead into what we talked about a few minutes ago that, it seems to me, and I’ve interviewed John Morgan and other top managing partners. And the thing that in my book be that lawyer Hunter, one top Rainmaker secrets growing successful law practice available on Amazon, bestseller is systems. And the fact that if you have a system, if you can get the culture and the system together and have everybody rowing in the same direction that while there is chaos and while there are going to be, you know, fire hoses in the mouth that happen, and angry clients and internal things that happen, it’s like you have something that you can fall back on. I’m just concerned that not enough law firms have that.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [06:36]
Yeah, I agree. And I think part of that too is I I use the phrase row in the same direction all the time, because it’s a great visual, you know, and it speaks to the kind of the goal. But also, remember, like, if you were unpack it literally, right? Okay, great. Everybody’s in the same boat. We’ve pushed off. We’re rowing in the same direction. You have to keep managing it so that that continues. It’s not like, great, we’re in the boat. We’ve pushed off. We’re going to be good forever. System, the system is always changing. The water is always moving. There’s other boats you have to navigate around. You could have, you know your best people in one in the boat, and go, actually, maybe that other boat looks better. Maybe I’ll jump in there, you know. So you have to keep your like culture is a verb. You have to keep creating it. You can’t just go cool the action plan. We figured it out, the values are on the wall, and we’re done.
Steve Fretzin [07:24]
Yeah, but it’s interesting, because I have a system called sales, free selling that I provide to all my clients, and the personal injury attorneys I work with will say, Well, this won’t work for me, because I’m dealing with referral sources, or I’m dealing with consumers, not with B to B businesses and GCS and CEOs, and then the people that work in transactions and M and A will be like, Oh, this won’t work for me, because I’m not. And I go, look, it’s a system, but you have to take out of the system what is useful to you, and you need to customize it and personalize it to yourself. It should work for everybody, but you need to own it and tweak it in a way that’s going to work, because the gears get dry and they need to be greased, or whatever it might be that you need to do. So I think there has to be some flexibility within a system as well.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [08:09]
Yeah, and part of it too is the consultants, the coaches who help people relearn how to think, as opposed to just here’s the plan to do. And so, you know, that’s another thing that that on that list of why RBE strategies is a modern change. One of the things that sets us apart is teaching our clients how to approach this, to co create solutions. My goal is to put myself out of business one client at a time, as opposed to building dependence. So I want you to figure out how to do this work for yourself.
Steve Fretzin [08:39]
Yeah, I’m very aligned with that. That’s wonderful.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [08:43]
Yeah, not just like, here’s the one certification we have, or here’s the one approach that we take for every client. If it doesn’t work for you, something’s wrong with you, that’s, you know, I got some of my start in kind of the individual health and wellness fitness space, and I saw that all the time, even before that, as a consumer of it, you know? And it’s like, here’s the plan. If this doesn’t work for you, it’s your fault. Yeah? Like, no, you’re just a bad teacher. Maybe both. Maybe I’m not showing up for the work. But if you’re showing up and it’s not working, we need to rethink the approach.
Steve Fretzin [09:17]
Yeah? And one of the things that you know, the perfectionist, attorney, the risk averse. Attorney, the there’s all these things about attorneys that make them unique and butterflies in their space to some degree, but what they’re all looking for, and maybe they’re not looking in the right places, but they’re kind of just looking and trying to figure out stuff for themselves, because it’s the I can do everything. Mindset is trying to get the most out of their time, the most value to get ahead in the least amount of effort. And I think that systems and processes and language can help with that, but there’s probably a lot of head games going on there too. Can you address that?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [09:52]
Yeah, so I share the goal of and this, I steal this again, from the health space, right? Of you know, the least effect. Of, or, I’m sorry, the most effective dose. I didn’t say that quite right. But the idea being is that if I or, yeah, the least effective dose. Sorry, Steve, so basically, the concept is, if I can get the results in, say, a five minute workout, why would I make you do a 10 minute workout, right? So taking that approach, what is the end goal that we are looking for? And if we can meet that in a certain way, then okay, why that’s hard for lawyers in particular is, you know, the personality, a certain personality type, is typically attracted to law in the in the first place, and then the top percent of that people are the one that get through law school. And then the top percent of that are the people that sit for the bar and pass the bar. And then the top percent of that becomes the associate, moves up the associate ladder into partnership and two and so of the original it’s this tiny little like the most extreme of those traits typically get all the way off. And that’s then exacerbated by law firm cultures, by law school culture, by, you know, working in America, capitalism, all of these things. And we still have this up or out mentality, still the billable hour, sometimes just the haunt of that and the even if your organization isn’t using it, it’s still kind of there, since, like, the ghosts of it, this grind culture, the way we talk about leaders is like, a single effort, yeah, other than, like, all of the people that support us behind The scenes. Yeah, so there’s, like, the traits, the innate and then there’s all the stuff that exacerbate that.
Steve Fretzin [11:46]
But I think there’s a difference here too, if we isolate business development, as in rain making as a skill, right? That there are people who are super high functioning, super smart, super, you know, progressive and wanting to grow and develop in their career, and they do move up the food chain, from law school to, you know, associate to partner, and based on their skills and their maybe their communication and how good they are as an attorney, then there’s this whole other skill set of business development that a percentage of a percentage of like you now, the slivers getting even thinner as it relates to people that are willing to put time, effort and energy into learning a skill that will allow them to make it rain and be that lawyer, as the show talks about, yeah, what’s the mindset for that?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [12:28]
Well, I think it’s kind of shared, right? This what we were, think we were both getting towards, which is you have to kind of redefine, not necessarily, what peak performance is. And I prefer to even just say sustainable peak performance. Like throw a little caveat there, because I think that’s really the goal. The goal isn’t, oh, let me just perform at my peak for a quarter or a year. The goal is, let me continue to level up in my career for as long as my career is a career, so that I’m not burning out or I don’t get to the top of the mountain, so to speak, look down and go, This is awesome, but I have no one to share the view with, because I’ve lost all my people.
Steve Fretzin [13:06]
Yeah, yeah, you just you didn’t have that. And then the word balance is, I guess, become, like, the dirtiest word, no work life balance. Like, if you even say that, people, like, get in your face, or, like, there’s our such thing. Okay, yeah, I get it all right, so what? So then, how do we get peak performance and not burn out.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [13:23]
Yeah. And I also that too. Like my most common workshop for law firms, I just did it recently for a retreat, is like redefining peak performance. And what I say in the beginning, for any of you who are afraid that I’m going to say, lower your standards, is the answer, like, trust me, I’m not. I’m a recovering perfectionist, like I just got my doctor, like, I’m not that person, but it’s so it’s not changing the goal. It’s rethinking how we get the goal and acknowledging so step one, with the whole work life balance, redefining pay performance thing, is acknowledging that, like, oh, the path we thought we should be taking to get to this destination, if you will, actually isn’t the right path. So same, same goal, peak performance, kick ass career, like leveling up, be that lawyer, be the Rainmaker. If that’s the goal for you, that’s the goal for you, you can still set it. It’s just recognizing that. Like, oh, the tools I thought I needed actually aren’t the right tools. What are the tools? Well, the tools are actually go to sleep. Get some sleep, please. If you nothing else.
Steve Fretzin [14:25]
You get nothing else on it today. Get some damn sleep.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [14:29]
Take a freaking breath. Yeah, yeah. So here’s a little exercise for everybody, just it’s an easy thing to do. Pick one cue. The cue, I tell people, is like, if you’re whenever you find yourself waiting, because if you’re like me, you don’t like to do it. So whenever you’re waiting your chance to speak at a red light for the subway, like whatever, just take an intentional breath and exhale. Just attach it to that. You’ll breathe a little bit more throughout the day. But beyond that, so recognizing, oh, I need to invest in myself. To get, to have the resources within me, to meet the demands coming at me. And this pulls from psychology across disciplines. It’s the demands resources model, all the things coming at you, work or life. It’s all life. I hate the term work life balance. I think it’s stupid. It’s not helpful. You know, it’s all life. It’s work and non work, all the things coming at you. You have to have the resources in you to meet them. Yeah. And you get that by investing in yourself, by going to sleep, by moving your body, by eating, you know, nutritiously, by having threats, by laughing, by filling your brain by being challenged to a point.
Steve Fretzin [15:43]
But then you actually have a life. I mean, again, you know, if there’s a lawyer on the deathbed, you know, with the family, with no one around, or, let’s say, with one person around, and they say, if I had only build more hours, like, I don’t know, ever been said, Right? No, like, that’s not a life. That’s a job, and that’s something that you just working to, like, put yourself in the in the ground. We need to consider where we are, where we really want to go, and are we doing the proper things and bringing in the proper people and the proper tools, to your point, that are going to allow us to accomplish the thing? And I always say this too, like we have one freaking shot at this thing. You don’t. You have 10 shots, you have one shot, yeah, and you can not address rehearsal, like thing, how are you taking? The other thing is, people get, you know, I get it like, there’s with money and investing and time and money, there’s willing and there’s able, and there are people who are willing to invest and they’re not able to invest. And sometimes it’s a chicken or the egg, like they need to get the money to make the money, like it’s a tough situation. The one that bothers me are people that have the money they’re not willing to invest because they think it’s going to me and it is going to me and it is going to you, we are the ones taking in the money, but they don’t understand that the investment is in themselves, and that the investment is, you know, what is that going to do in my life to change things for the better. And that’s that’s, I think part of that might be someone’s lack of a sales process, but we’re sales Free selling process. And for others, it may because they’re just selling somebody something versus letting them buy right? And the other is they just have an issue with money in their brain about what that money could go towards if and if not towards this. Or, I’ve never spent that much before. Like, I think there’s some head trash around money.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [17:26]
Yeah oh, definitely. But there’s also around capability and confidence in themselves, right? Looking at, like, change and change fatigue. Like, are they changing 50 things at once, and they just can’t, you know, scary? Yeah, it’s scary. Are they afraid of success?
Steve Fretzin [17:41]
Yeah, failure. They would never admit that. No one admits I’m afraid of success. But I think there’s another famous quote about, you know, what we’re really afraid of is how powerful we could be, and that’s maybe all subconscious. But I think we all have that like, you know, how much more success I feel like I’m doing great and happy and successful, like all the things that you would want to work like, I’m like, I’m mostly there. Look at everybody be even better, sure. But like, do I want to run $100 million organization and do and have that kind of life in a private jet? No, I don’t know. I don’t want those kind of problems. And then that’s okay. Like, what does success really mean? I want to spend time with my family and enjoy things.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [18:20]
Yeah, we have to define that for ourselves. And I think one of the mistakes that that we all do is not pausing at, you know, even, like once a year, but in those transition points of our life. And go, has my definition of success changed? Am I at a new chapter in my life? Right? Like, even, you know the there’s that book, right? Like, what got you here? Won’t Get You There. Well, what got you say you got out of law school? You busted it, right? Early 20s, like, mid 20s, you are just like, you don’t care. You’re you don’t need to see your apartment because they’re giving you food at the firm. You’re working all the hours. It doesn’t matter. You’re saving up. You’re saving up. Great. Let’s say you’re now your partner level, Senior Partner level. You don’t need like that. What that job requires is not the same as you’re like, starting off in your 20s. Yeah, right. And so even just whatever worked for you legitimately at an earlier phase of your career is not going to work for you at the new career level, because if it’s a new career level, it’s different, yeah, and also, you have changed, most likely, right? You’ve had regrets, you’ve learned along the way. You have new, different goals. You know, we don’t, and if we just keep going without pausing to check in, hey, how have we changed? Do we still want this? We don’t know to make we keep going and we kind of live on autopilot.
Steve Fretzin [19:48]
Yeah, I get that. It’s easy to do. We all have, you know, habits, good and bad, and things that we get sort of stuck in, in that routine. And like people, especially like lawyers that are at bad Firm. With bad culture, and it’s just easier to stay and suck it up than to the transition of change, of moving somewhere better, and that’s scary, or just the idea of, you know, I learning business development, and that’s going to take effort and time and energy, and I’m sort of okay where I am right now. I’m not great, but I’m okay now. My concern is the future that people aren’t are staying in these, you know, humdrum sort of existences because it’s so hard to change, but they’re also not really thinking about, like, how crazy shit is out there, pardon my French, like it’s really crazy, and every day the news is telling me something different that’s going to impact people’s future if they don’t take stock and start making changes now.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [20:42]
I think, yes. And one of the things then to make sure of is that you’re not swinging right. We just, like, avoid extremes, is, I think, one of the big things, right? So you don’t want to be on autopilot, but you don’t want to go, oh my god, it’s.
Steve Fretzin [20:56]
Yeah, right, right. You don’t have to, I’m gonna move. Tahiti, you know, I don’t know that you need to do that? Right?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [21:01]
No, but it’s like in that whole idea of because we’ve done some really great threads, so just to kind of pull some together for the listener, right? Checking in with yourself, learning how to think, not what to think, right? Building a system, and the system doesn’t mean you have to do this exact thing for everybody, every day for the rest of your life. It’s okay. What is my system? It’s I’m going to check in with myself once a quarter, and the end of the year, I’m going to make sure that I’m redefining, you know, am I happy? What does happiness even mean to you? Because it probably means something different to you than me. Because I actually hate, may not hate, but I just like the word happiness and the chase of it, and I can happy to explain why. But you know, what do these words mean to me? How do I want to go about doing them? Am I still on track for that? Is what I am doing, working.
Steve Fretzin [21:56]
Yeah, right, with proven SEO and digital marketing strategies that drive actual clients to your firm. Rankings.io. Prides itself on proof, not promises. Mentality. The best firms hire rankings.io. When they want rankings, traffic and cases, other law firm marketing agencies can’t deliver. Get more rankings, get cases and schedule a free [email protected] today. Hey, be that lawyer friends. If you’re looking for smarter ways to grow your law practice and want to stay ahead of the curve in legal, tech, business and strategy, then it’s time to check out legal verse media, the go to hub for lawyers who want more. This international platform connects you with global thought leaders through articles, podcasts, webinars and interactive forums that are shaping the future of law. Explore everything with a free 14 day trial, including early access to tools peer discussions and a chance to build your brand as a thought leader. Don’t wait. Visit legalverse media.com and register for membership today. Hey everybody, it’s Steve Fretzin as the you know, I’m the host of the be that lawyer podcast, and if you’re serious about growing your law practice, let’s talk. I’ve coached hundreds of attorneys to build bigger books of business without selling chasing or wasting time. This isn’t a sales pitch, it’s a real 30 minute strategy session to explore what’s possible for you in your practice. Just head over to fretzin.com and grab a time that works for you, and let’s make this your breakout year. Can I hit on something you said? Because I think there’s a lot, and I listen to a lot of great podcasts, and they’re really highly educational, where they bring in top experts in all these different areas. And one that, you know, I’ve heard in the last, you know, a couple times in the last year or two, has been, you know, happiness. And what is happiness? And how does someone know if they’re really happy? Like, sometimes I worry that I’m not happy because I can’t remember everything, meaning that I’ve been on trips, I’ve gone on golf trips, I’ve gone on great trips, you know? I’ve helped great people. I’ve done wonderful things in my lifetime. I’ve had amazing meals, but I don’t like remember them, all right? So if I’m not remembering things, then is that may mean I’m less happy than if I have all these great memories, like in a file cabinet where I can pull from them, like, that’s, you know, I’m generally like, everyone that knows me knows I’m happy, and then I’m super happy most of the time. Yeah, but that’s the concern that I’m like, because my memory isn’t great. Like, is that mean I’m not happy?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [24:17]
I would think, no, I think it’s a separate thing. But I did my dissertation on, like, part of it was, like, what it like happiness first. So there’s quick and dirty, you can read the whole thing if you want, but there’s two ancient Greek, two hap like, two definitions of well being. It’s like, kind of the happiness hedonic. And then there’s what we call eudaimonic, psychological well being as an often news measure, that’s the one I used anyways, happiness is fleeting, feeling fleeting. It’s by design, right?
Steve Fretzin [24:49]
Fleeting, fleeting. Okay, I’m happy because I just ate this great, delicious dessert, and then it’s gone.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [24:55]
Right? I got the promotion great like and so if anybody hasn’t heard of the term hedonic. Out of mill. Go google it. It’s this idea that when you’re chasing happiness, when you’re chasing this dopamine, hit this idea of happiness, right? You get it, and then we reset our baseline. It’s just what humans do. You can’t change that. It’s how we are wired. So I think sometimes in the world, the layman’s terms, in mass media, we can feel like the terms are confused, happiness and well being and contentment, Joy. They’re all kind of jumbled and so and sometimes people are talking about like psychological well being and eudaimonia, but they’re using the word happiness, and so it all gets confused, yeah? So what you should be chasing is contentment, like the trajectory is upward, right? It’s going to have some ups and downs, because that’s life. Life is a roller coaster, but hopefully you come out, you know, at the end, going, what an amazing ride. You know.
Steve Fretzin [25:51]
Yeah, I really believe in what you just said, and love that. And, you know, we do things, we go to a concert, we eat a great food, we visit with great friends. We have this, these moments of happiness and joy that we and that’s part of life, but all but the contentment. And you know, are you living with regrets? Are you always angry? Are you, you know, just, you know, walking around on eggshells, everywhere you go, and contentment? I love that word, and I’m going to use that because that’s really and I feel like that’s where I am content, like I’m just helping people improve their lives. I’m content my you know, my son’s doing okay in school. He’s not, he hasn’t filled out yet. You know, my wife and I have this great path in front of us. So, yeah, I’m just highly content. But also I don’t want that the word content, you know, also may allow me to say, you know, I’m not going to strive for more, or one more, or whatever.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [26:42]
You can be two things, yeah, and be content and ready for the next thing. Want to keep leveling up. Like contentment doesn’t have to mean and I’m in cement so, but for me.
Steve Fretzin [26:54]
That’s part of contentment, too. In different people’s world, is how they like. I want to continue to improve. I want to continue to do better for my clients. I want to continue to have the strongest marriage, and, you know, be the dad I can be, and all those things. Yeah, so I’m not content in the way that I’m just going to sit back and rest on it, but I’m content in the sense that I feel really good every day, and every day is a great day. Every day is my best day. And I just, you know, what am I going to do today to keep that going.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [27:21]
Right and when it’s not, like, if it’s not your best day, what did I learn, right? And eudaimonic well being is continued striving for, like, achieving that, like, that best version of myself. How can I learn and contribute back? Like, how can I throw the bridge, you know, the ladder back down for the people behind me? You know, what is that idea of, not necessarily like, what is my life purpose and why am I here? But kind of along those lines of, like, I’m here again. It’s not a dress rehearsal. How do I make it have meaning for me? What am I going to contribute? I kind of like the idea of, like, my parents instilled a love of nature in me, and so that idea of sharing the trail and leaving the trail better than you found it. I kind of would have that mindset for other humans, yeah, like, when I leave other humans better than I found them, how can I leave this world found it? Like that’s kind of all this.
Steve Fretzin [28:12]
I feel like that’s kind of it. I know there’s a lot of people that may not have that in their lives. They or may not recognize the value they’re bringing to others. For me, I don’t think I could live my life without helping others be their best selves. And I feel like that then makes me my best self. Like, you know that, you know, like, I could cook food and serve people food and they’d be happy eating my food, but if I could teach people how to cook food and then they make other been like, that’s sort of my mindset. But let’s wrap up. We’ve got our final fun thing to talk about. This has been excellent and amazing, and I’m learning what’s Rachel’s big mistake?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [28:48]
God, there’s so many.
Steve Fretzin [28:50]
Well, that’s what we just ended on, like learning or improving, right?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [28:54]
Yeah. I mean, so it’s funny, because one like the overall, right? And there’s been many instances of this, but the overall is not asking for help. You know, I had a lot of head trash to work through. You know, spare the life story. But the bottom line is, is it made me feel like I had to, to show that I was worthy, to show I was smart, to prove that I belonged, that I had to figure it all out myself, and not just the what, but the how. Yeah, and I missed many opportunities to say, I don’t know what I want like or I know what I want. I know the life I want to live. I don’t know how to get there. Is this the right thing? What I hate this? What else do I like to do? What am I good at? Who can help me figure out what to do within the rest of my life?
Steve Fretzin [29:42]
Yeah, so not leveraging people, people that have been there and done that, similar to how you and I work with people now, that was something that you were challenged by.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [29:50]
Absolutely, you know, thankfully, I think it all worked out.
Steve Fretzin [29:53]
But, yeah, but, but that’s the point of the big mistake. Is we need to go through those challenges and we. Need to have these high stress moments in our life, because how else do we define where we’re going and who we’re going to become?
Dr. Rachel Boehm [30:06]
Right 100% and that’s why I do the work that I do, is because I’ve made those mistakes, and I want to help people either not make them or kind of get through them faster.
Steve Fretzin [30:16]
Yeah, I did just awesome. Just awesome. Hey everybody, let’s take a moment. Thank our sponsors, of course, rankings, io, serious player in the lead gen space. We’ve got the law her podcast with Sonia. Was so thrilled to meet her at pimcon A few weeks ago. What a lovely person and also great advocate for women around the world. And of course, legal verse media, if you haven’t checked that out, go to legalverse media.com, check out what they’re up to. Rachel. People want to get in touch with you. They want to hear more. They want to, you know, work with you. What are the best ways for them to reach out.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [30:46]
On my website? Rachel Boehm.com, is linked to schedule 15 minute chat. That’s the best way to get started.
Steve Fretzin [30:52]
And spell Boehm, because that’s not what people think.
Dr. Rachel Boehm [30:56]
No, no, it is, B as in, boy, o, e, H, M, as in, Mary.
Steve Fretzin [31:01]
Well, you know, this was a long time coming. I think we were actually scheduled, like in July, and we, between the two of us, had to rework this. And I am absolutely thrilled that we did, and I’m thrilled that we were able to get all this amazing content out to everybody, and more video, videos on YouTube, everybody on my website, fretson.com, be that lawyer.com. Above the Law. We’re going to be up on above the law with, you know, things we’ve got attorney at work now. So if you check out attorney whatever you like, with the be that lawyer podcast. Is there everybody? Rachel, thank you so much. This has been an absolute pleasure, and I’m just thrilled that we were able to get this out and help everybody. Thanks for having me. Yeah, and thank you everyone again, just more killer content to help you be that lawyer you know, be that organized and to just be so great at what you love to do every day and live your best lawyer’s life. Take care, everybody. Be safe, be well. We will talk again soon.
Narrator [31:56]
Thanks for listening to be that loyal. Life changing strategies and resources for growing a successful law practice. Visit Steve’s website, fredson.com for additional information and to stay up to date on the latest legal business development and marketing trends for more information and important links about today’s episode. Check out today’s show notes.